Translation: Because Being Leet Is Just So Cool.

 

No. No it isn't.

 

Possibly one of the most idiotic inventions EVER would have to be leet, or '1337', speak. Basically, it's using numbers instead of letters, and it is a plague upon our youth.

 

Not only is it a pain in the ass to read, but it causes every thirteen year old who uses it to believe that they are computer savvy lykwoah and a total HxC haXX0r.

 

"Oh God, look at me, I can use numbers instead of letters! BOW DOWN AND FUCKING WORSHIP ME!"

 

But it gets worse, as people decide to combine leet with chat speak, until what you end up with is something like the following:

 

H/-\`/ /-\/5/1? G07 P!X? \/\//-\|\||\|/-\ C`/83R?

(HAY A/S/L? GOT PIX? WANNA CYBER?)

 

Please children, for the love of all that is good and holy, use LETTERS, use them PROPERLY, and dear God, stop trying to get laid in chatrooms. Leave THAT for the lonely fifty year olds.

 

Kthx.

It's pretty fucking appauling when you think about it.

 

Being the sad individual that I am, I was sitting filling out one of the lame questionaire(sp?) things, just as a time killer. It asks, 'What did you do last weekend?'

 

Well, I worked, and I sat on the internet. Same as ever other weekend.

 

'When was the last time you got drunk?' The answer to which is never.

 

Sure. So I'm lame.

 

But a few days later, I see it reposted by a girl of about twleve or thirteen.

'What did you do last weekend?' 'I went to party and got drunk, lol, i can't even remember it!'

'When was the last time you got drunk?' 'A couple of days ago!'

 

(Please note, responses have been altered to make them more easily understandable. You know I'm thinking of you).

 

And I wondered, what is sadder? That I sit and home and don't get drunk, or that there are twleve year olds that do, and do so OFTEN?

 

What IS the appeal of being a slobbering drunk, I wonder? Does it make you COOL, when you rip your shirt off and start screaming? Does it make you ay more of a better person? Does it make you any more friends?

Note that I said FRIENDS, not 'people that you drunkenly make out with' or 'people who buy you alcohol'.

 

Silly children. And people call me sad. Which I am, but in a different and completely more sober way.

Oh yes. The master went off to the big city for a few days. Gosh. The excitement, the shopping, the bright lights and shiny things. It's every five year old's dream, which could be why it amused me so much. Simple pleasures and all that. Although I'm not sure if Perth actually counts as a simple pleasure seeing as it isn't in the country or anything... Ohwell.

 

I only saw one thing worth questioning though. Sort of.

 

Walking past some shop, there's a shirt in the wnidow that says 'I Don't Do Fake'.

 

Which struck me as sort of ironic. Because one of the most fake things I have ever encountered is t-shirt slogans, so it really is something of a contradiction to tell people that you're not fake using a fake medium.

 

It amused me greatly. Partcularly since I saw every second little teenybopper wearing one, which once again totally defeated the purpose.

 

Odd how people try so hard to be original by doing what everyone else is doing.

 

People are stupid. (Yes, I AM proclaiming the blaring obvious. So sue me).

A pondering.

 

What, exactly, is the point of going to the cinema to make out? You're not going to watch the movie, yet you pay good money to sit in a dark room and slobber all over one another.

 

Why not go find a closet or something? It would cost less, and cause less trauma to all us sad lonely fucks who have to sit and listen to you groan.

Sort of anyway.

 

I had another thought. Two in one night, shocking, I know. But anyway.

 

Space-hopping, i come across some people who claim that they 'hate posers'.

 

And it occured to me, well, what exactly defines a poser?

 

According to popular opinion, it's a person who pretend to be something that they aren't.

 

So some thirteen year old decides that they are 'goth', and suddenly, all the other 'goth' thirteen year olds decide that, 'oh em gee, you're a POSER!', when they themselves dress, think and behanve exactly the same way.

 

So what defines the one person from the rest of the subculture? If they are doing all the exact same things, yet are still deemed a poser, it stands to reason that everyone else should be be classed the same.

 

I'm not making sense, but I know what I mean, and that's all that's really important anyway. Screw you guys.

I really really really want to make an entry. So that's what I'm doing.

 

However, I have no plan, no idea and no thoughts at this present moment in time, so it will either be very short and boring, very long and boring, or very middle sized and slightly tedious.

 

Either way, you're reading it.

 

Thought. Ever noticed how, occasionally, EVERYONE will find out about a band, and EVERYONE will be all 'OMG I LOVE THAT BAND', whilst all the while, they only ever know one song?

 

Example. For about two weeks, everyone at my school decided that 'OH EM GEE, THE DRESDEN DOLLS THE DRESDEN DOLLS!', but then asked what their favourite song was, the answer was ALWAYS, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, 'OOOOOH, COIN OPERATED BOY'.

And when asked 'What about Truce/The Perfect Fit/Half Jack/Thirty Whacks?' you get the 'Oh shit, I've been caught talking about something I know fuck all about' look.

 

Sad really, how people make judgements on something after only having a tiny preview of it. Nobody bothers to look deeper than what's popular because everyone is lazy and nobody appreciates anything anymore.

 

Hey, I DID have a point after all. That's good.

 

(No, really, I just wanted to bitch about fake Dolls fans. But still, it's relevant. Ish).

Today I had a revelation.

 

I was walking around the shopping centre, as I tend to do, and my gaze fell upon a magazine rack. As usual, there were the same trashy magazines with the same trashy diets and the same trashy celebrities on the front. One of the titles caught my eye - "The Most Erotic Sex Fantasies To Hit Our Desk".

 

And I thought to myself, 'Gosh. What sort of teen reads that?'.

 

And then it hit me. It's generally not the teens who read it - it's the women that they grow into.

 

Which got me slightly worried. I had always hoped that the girly magazine buying was just a phase, but apparently not. Oh no. The very same girls who decide that things like Dolly and Girlfriend are worthwhile purchases grow up into the kinds of women who spend money on Cosmo, Cleo, Elle, Vogue, et cetera et cetera.

 

I realized that once they become sucked in by the vortex - they STAY sucked.

 

I have serious doubts about the next generation. Someone shoot me before it's too late.

It's been ages, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know. But I'm here now, so you can all start worshipping me again. Fear not, for once more, the little people shall have guidence. All three of you.

 

The children on the bus are still morons. And they still think yelling out of the window makes them cool. They haven't yet twigged that, if hollering 'SKANK' out of the window has become routine, they may in fact need to find a better way to spend the time. Poor children.

 

Still, I always get a kick out of it.

 

In other news. Youre great and fabulous leader is employed, finally. Indeed. I have managed to secure a position as a veggie bitch at the supermarket. It's not so bad, and for $8.64 and hour, I'm not complaining.

 

And lyk, omg. Now I can lyk, totally buy that totally cool Roxy shirt, lyk omg, totally. Materialism all the way, lyk, totally kewl, lykomg.

 

'Cause everyone knows it's TOTALLY DIFFERENT to all the other pink shirts you own. It has that teensy logo in the corner, so that makes it SO TOTALLY MUCH BETTER.

 

Even though you're only going to get rid of it three months later because by then it will be SO TOTALLY NOT COOL.

 

It's all so logical, obviously.